He is GOOD. {Ashton Rost's Story}

Ashton, a young lady in our church, shares her story of emptiness, doubt, and disappointment.

Chaos was introduced into my life about three years ago. I had been married to my wonderful husband, Jordan, for about a year, and we felt that it was time to start a family. For the past three years, we have struggled to create that family. Wanting a family is such a natural thing. It has always been a desire for both of us to raise children and to raise our children in a Christ-centered home.

Chaos has affected my relationships with others in many different ways. For Jordan and me, it has brought us closer. We have always had a good, strong relationship, but through this time we have really leaned on each other. Jordan has prayed over me, for me, and sent me Scripture. His love for me on my hardest days reminds me just how much God loves me. If Jordan, a flawed man, can love me that much, God's love is that much more.

Other relationships have been strained. It is hard to see new mothers and not feed into that voice saying, "Why not me?". It has been hard to connect to those who have children and never struggled to get them. It is a part of my story that they cannot relate to. 

The Lord works in many ways and brought to me a wonderful group of ladies who are or have gone through the struggle to have children. All of our journeys are different, but the end goal was the same: To be a mother. Having them has helped me find my place and find people who know the hurts of my heart and the sadness that comes with wanting something so bad.

I have felt God both near and far. During the first year of our journey, I felt God near. I was hopeful for the things to come. Two years into it, I felt far from God. I felt that He had forgotten about me, and that He did not care about our circumstances. I would show up to church on Sunday and leave with nothing. My heart was so closed off. It was a place I had never been before. I have been walking with God for 20 years, and I had never felt so far from Him. I was angry. Angry that things were not going my way. Angry that He was not answering my prayers. Angry that every month was just another reminder that He had forgotten me. 

As I continued in this faraway place, I heard God say, "You can't do this on your own." I shared my story with someone I trusted. Then, I began talking more and more about the journey Jordan and I were on and the chaos that I let consume me. When I shared my story, that's when I started to feel God close again. I was reminded that He had not gone anywhere. He was with me every step of my angry journey. He sat with me, cried with me, and was there with me on the hardest days. By trying to do this on my own, I was not resting in Him. He has drawn me near through daily Scripture reading and through songs. He has reminded me that He "is with me always". 

In the last few months, I have had a new hope for things to come. I have been reminded of Sarah and how it was by her faith that she was able to conceive. I have been reminded that God works all things together for His good. He has a greater plan in store for Jordan and me. We are just in our season of waiting.

I have learned that I cannot go through this life alone. I need Jesus in my life. This life is hard, and I would not want to go through it without Him. I have also learned that there is always hope because our hope is in Christ alone. Whether Jordan and I are blessed to be parents or not, we have the knowledge and promise that God has conquered all. I know that my hope is in Him and that as long as I have a relationship with Christ and I grow with him more every day, I have everything that I need.

I am still in my journey of chaos. If you're on the same journey I am, all I have to say is stay hopeful. Draw near, dive into His Word, and know who Christ is. When you are in your season of waiting, draw near to God.

He is GOOD.

Psalm 34:8 (NIV) - "Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him."

In life, we find ourselves confronted with various circumstances that challenge our faith. Trials, hardships, and difficulties can sometimes overwhelm us, causing us to question the goodness of God. However, in the midst of these storms, it is vital to remind ourselves that our God is eternally good. His goodness transcends our circumstances and remains unchanged, no matter what we may face. Even in her pain, Ashton recognizes that God is good.

When we talk about the goodness of God, it is not merely a fleeting attribute or an occasional act of kindness. Instead, God's goodness defines His very nature. He is inherently good, and everything He does flows from this goodness. It is rooted in His character, and it remains unwavering and constant. Our circumstances may fluctuate, but God's goodness is unchanging.

In times of trouble, it is easy to be consumed by our situation and lose sight of God's goodness. We may question His plans and purposes, wondering how such difficulties can align with His goodness. But we must remember that our perception is limited, while God's perspective is all-encompassing. We are called to trust in His goodness, even when we cannot comprehend His ways.

The psalmist David, a man acquainted with adversity, encourages us to "taste and see that the LORD is good". It is an invitation to experience and savor the goodness of God in our lives. Just as we taste and savor the sweetness of delicious fruit, we are invited to experience the sweetness of God's goodness. It is in this intimate experience with Him that we find solace, strength, and unwavering hope.

When we shift our focus from our circumstances to the goodness of God, we gain a renewed perspective. We begin to understand that even in the hardest of times, God is working for our ultimate good. He can turn our trials into testimonies, our pain into purpose, and our sorrow into joy. His goodness has the power to transform our lives and bring us into alignment with His divine plan.

Let us remember that His goodness goes beyond our understanding and is not contingent on our circumstances. He is good when we are weak, good when we are broken, good when we are lost. We can find refuge in His goodness, knowing that He is faithful to walk with us through every storm.

Prayer:
Heavenly Father, thank You for Your unchanging goodness. Help us to fix our eyes on You, even in the midst of the hardest circumstances. Grant us the ability to taste and see Your goodness, and to take refuge in Your unwavering love. Strengthen our faith and fill us with the assurance that Your plans for us are good. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.