He is our STRONG TOWER. {Adisyn Gray}

On November 15, 2021, my son’s school called and said Hudson wouldn't wake up. After a long day in the ER, we were admitted to the hospital. A CT scan of his head showed a grapefruit-sized mass on the right side of his brain. He was quickly life-flighted to St. Louis Children’s Hospital, and we followed by car. 

​A couple of days later, Hudson underwent an 8-9 hour surgery to remove the tumor. Two hours into the surgery they called us to say they could not continue without him losing too much blood. He was on a ventilator for the next four days. On November 30, the pathology results came back. It was choroid plexus carcinoma, a rare brain cancer that affects about 75 people per year with only a 20% survival rate. Hudson was discharged, and we went home to say goodbye to family and friends. On December 14, we left for St. Jude with no idea when or if Hudson would come home.

At St. Jude, we immediately started with tests, chemo, and scans, learning that he had 13+ spots on his spine as well as the tumor. He was inpatient for chemo over the holidays. In late January, Hudson had another emergency brain surgery to drain the extra fluid from his brain and to place a shunt to continue draining the fluid. On March 24, after three rounds of chemotherapy, the neurosurgeon was finally able to remove the whole brain tumor. ​
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Following more chemo, we were able to come home for a few days, but we had to return for two more rounds of chemo. In June, Hudson’s scans went in front of the tumor board. We knew he wouldn't be cancer free. The decision was made that continuing chemo would have done more harm than good, and we came home on July 5, 2022, after 203 days at St. Jude. 

At first, God felt so far away. I remember screaming and cursing at God some nights for what I felt He was putting me through. I felt like I had done something wrong and this must be His way of getting back at me. Now I know this isn’t true. I could always feel God’s presence, but the situation determined how near or far away He felt.

Cancer took Hudson and me away from home and our support system. One of the blessings that came out of COVID was the normalizing of online church service. It really helped me stay in my faith to be able to worship with my church family every Sunday from miles away. Although I will never understand why God allows children to have cancer, He shows His presence in the people He puts in the situation to help: nurses, doctors, Child Life, social workers, and other families. We drew close to other cancer families during our time at St. Jude. I have made some lifelong friendships. You will always be surprised who shows up exactly when God knows you need them!
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"The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe." - Proverbs 18:10 

Our emotions can often lead us astray. Not only that they can lie to us.  Fear, anxiety, and uncertainty may attempt to shake the very foundation of our faith. However, even when our emotions are in turmoil, we have an unwavering source of strength and security - God, our Strong Tower.

Imagine the bustling ancient cities with their towering walls and fortresses. Within these cities, a strong tower stood tall, a refuge for the people in times of danger. It was a place where they could run to find safety and protection. In the same way, God is our eternal refuge, offering us a place of solace and deliverance.

When our hearts are overwhelmed and our emotions threaten to consume us, we can run to God, our Strong Tower. He is always there, ready to provide us with the comfort and peace we seek. He invites us to find rest in His loving arms, knowing that we are safe under His divine protection.

The verse from Proverbs 18:10 reminds us of the power in God's name. His name holds the authority to calm the storms within us, dispel our fears, and bring peace to our troubled souls. In times of trouble, we can declare His name, knowing that He is near to those who call upon Him.

Today, let us choose to run to God, our Strong Tower, in every circumstance. In His presence, we find strength, courage, and the assurance that we are never alone. No matter how fierce the storms of life may be, we can find shelter and security in Him. May our hearts continually seek refuge in His name, finding solace and comfort even when our emotions try to lead us astray.

Prayer:
Heavenly Father, thank You for being our Strong Tower, our place of refuge and safety. In moments of doubt and fear, help us to run to You, finding solace in Your presence. Strengthen our faith and help us trust in Your unwavering love. May Your name be our constant source of peace, and may we continually seek shelter in You. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.